Adoption Update

The timing of the COVID-19 outbreak couldn't have come at a worse time for our family.

After being disappointed not to be able to bring Jesslyn home before Christmas, and then just barely missing our window in January prior to Chinese New Year, we were all set to travel to China on February 14th. Even in early February when we were counting down the days, we were hopeful that the virus would not spread much beyond Wuhan. Our destinations include northeast and southeast China, a fair distance from the more centrally located ground zero for the new disease. We had planned on doing some sightseeing while there, but quickly realized that wouldn't be in the cards for us given the new travel restrictions. Still, we thought we could successfully get in and get out without too much fuss.

And then the world went mad with panic. The day before we were going to purchase our tickets, U.S. airlines started canceling flights to China altogether. We found some alternate foreign airlines that could still get us there if we were willing to endure an overnight stay in Japan. Both the local Tianjin authorities and the U.S. Consulate were still willing to honor our appointments. We were ready to pull the trigger on that when we received word that the orphanage hosting Jesslyn itself was shutting its doors until the outbreak subsided. We were gutted.

It's difficult not to be angry when we hear of people in our own community rushing out to stock up on hand sanitizer and toilet paper as if the zombie apocalypse is upon us – in spite of there being zero cases in our metropolitan area, and only 8 in all of Texas. While it does appear that the death rate of those infected with the disease is higher than the annual flu, all its other stats pale in comparison. It's frightening to think that the general populace needs basic hygiene reminders at all, let alone why stores are selling out of products that facilitate it now as opposed to any other time. People have just flat out lost their minds over it, and as a result we must remain in a holding pattern while our little girl is growing older without us.

There is now the added complication of mandatory quarantine both upon arrival in China as well as upon return to the United States. We are hoping one or both will be lifted by the time we travel. Otherwise our original plan of traveling as a whole family will have be reconsidered. Jaedyn can't just miss 4-6 weeks of school, and we're not willing to be apart from our children for that length of time even if we could finagle childcare. So we may have to resort to one of us traveling to get Jesslyn while the other stays home.

Kyla has been keeping tabs on the daily statistics of the virus' spread, and new cases in China are on a decidedly downward trend. We're hopeful that it won't be too long before regular air service is resumed, and all applicable agencies in China are able to see us. We have informed our adoption agency that we're prepared to travel at a moment's notice. We have been fortunate to receive more recent videos and photos of Jesslyn, and have even sent her a video of our family introducing ourselves and letting her know we hope we'll get to meet her soon.

We appreciate your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. We'll post an update when COVID-19 blows over and we have the green light to bring Jesslyn home.

State of the Family 2020

The biggest news we have this year is the imminent arrival of our 3rd child via adoption from China, Jesslyn Zora. We were hoping to be able to bring her home before Christmas, but unfortunately the authorities that be have conspired to keep that from happening. We are still holding out hope that we can get it done prior to Chinese New Year at the end of January, when the whole of China will shut down for weeks. Everyone is anxiously awaiting her arrival!

Jaedyn has taken to 1st grade well. In particular, her reading skills have improved drastically, and we're continually amazed at the way she can sound out multisyllabic words. But then she gets tripped up by some simple word that we take for granted is, by all accounts, just weird – and we remember that she is still just in 1st grade. She continues to attend Chinese classes and is improving on that front, perhaps in part due to our disingenuous insistence that otherwise she won't be able to communicate with her new baby sister at all. She's also started a more serious (read: expensive) soccer program, and seems to like it fairly well.

Kaleb is doing well. He loves Paw Patrol and PJ Masks. He's learned to spell his name. He's still in soccer, and we've started him in a Chinese program as well. He got a new bike with training wheels, and we're trying to get him transitioned from his balance bike to that.

Kyla has recently become certified as a lactation consultant after after 3 years of hard work. She continues to work part-time at a pediatric clinic, and her new credential has opened up opportunities to work with breast-feeding mothers.

Jake has switched jobs as his entire division was let go from Oracle due to dwindling revenue. He's now working as a product manager for Administrate, a training management platform. He's enjoying making a big impact in a smaller company again and has quickly taken a leadership role.

Dawn of Hope: Our Adoption Story

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Kyla Carlson
3209 Burks Ln
Austin, TX 78732

Kyla and I started dating in high school while living abroad in Tianjin, China. At the time, the expat community there was heavily involved in caring for children in the local orphanage, and many even ended up making the life-long decision to adopt one themselves. As things got more serious between us, we agreed that we would one day adopt a little Chinese girl too.

Flash forward nearly 19 years. We had two beautiful children of our own, but that nagging feeling just wouldn't go away. It kept coming up again and again. We almost decided not to have Kaleb in favor of adoption, but we all know there can only be one winner when a mother sees her first child growing up. After Kaleb was born, we resolved to make good on the promise we made to each other so long ago as high school sweethearts. We started the process to adopt a little girl from China about a year ago.

As China's middle class has grown, so has demand for domestic adoptions. As a result, China no longer allows foreigners to adopt young infants under two years old with a clean bill of health as those are reserved for its citizens. Filling out an application specifying which ages and ailments one is willing to consider in an adoptee is an emotional but necessary process. After all, we had our existing children and our own life goals to consider. That being said, we knew that there were plenty of adoptable children that had relatively minor and/or correctable issues -- so we dove in head first and hoped for the best.

Adopting internationally is a complicated, expensive, emotional, and lengthy process. I would never have guessed it would be so hard to give a child in need a home. We took the required adoption training early this year. Our home study was completed this past spring. We've filled out reams of forms and have submitted fingerprints to various agencies like a million times (ok, four times, but still). We finally got officially approved to match with a child at the end of this past summer after a few false starts. After that, it wasn't very long before we found the one.

Jia Chen was abandoned at birth at a hospital in Tianjin, China in early 2018. Yes, that's the same city in which Kyla and I met and decided to one day adopt a little girl. And no, we did not / could not request where the child was to have been born. We aren't allowed to get too specific about her medical conditions or show pictures until she's officially ours, so I'm going to have to be a bit vague. She had some infections that were subsequently treated. She also has a mild heart condition which typically goes untreated without incident according to multiple friends and family in the medical profession. Even the adoption agency was surprised that such a young and healthy child was being offered for adoption by foreigners. While we're hopeful that the health documentation is accurate and comprehensive, we know that there may be things that assessments missed or conditions that can worsen.

There have been lots of hurdles to clear, but we're almost there. We have received an official invitation from the orphanage in Tianjin to adopt. We're now waiting on the U.S. government to approve our immigration application for Jia Chen. Once that's done, we'll only have a bit more paperwork to do before we can plan our travel to China to go get our baby girl. We were hopeful that it could happen before Christmas for a variety of reasons, but that's almost certainly not in the cards for us at the current pace the U.S. government is taking to approve us. But we're still clinging to hope that we can get it done in early January in time for her to be home with us before her second birthday. Our kids can't wait to get their new baby sister and speak of it almost daily.

Our immigration application for Jia Chen required that we provide a given name under which she will become a U.S. citizen. Those of you that know us or have been following along know that we can get a bit intense with how we name our children. We wanted to keep the tradition going while simultaneously incorporating elements of her Chinese name. We wanted her new name to sound similar to her Chinese name and somehow incorporate some of the meaning of it too. Jia Chen (佳晨) can be roughly translated as "beautiful dawn."

If all goes well, we will be bringing Jesslyn Zora back with us to her forever home in January 2020. Jesslyn is another form of Jessica, which means "God sees" or "God beholds" in Hebrew. Zora is a name used in Greece (though not of Greek origin) that means "dawn." Taken together the name means "God sees the dawn." If "dawn" is used as shorthand for Jia Chen, the implication is that she, though abandoned by her biological parents, has not been forgotten. "Seeing the dawn" is also a metaphor for hoping for a new beginning, which is what adoption is all about.

We've already invested the bulk of the money needed to complete our adoption. But as we get closer to actually traveling to China and making the mandatory $5k donation to the orphanage now hosting Jesslyn, we're reaching out to friends and family to help get us over the line. No pressure, but we would very much appreciate any and all contributions you feel compelled to add to our adoption cause via PayPal or Venmo. We look forward to sharing Jesslyn's new beginning with you all in the coming months!

State of the Family 2019

Everyone is happy and healthy. Jaedyn started Kindergarten and enjoys it immensely. (We don't enjoy waking up 2 hours earlier than we had to previously, though.) Kaleb is a chatterbox and a menace, and he gets away with murder because he's so darn cute. Kyla is still a part-time Pediatric Nurse Practitioner and is working toward getting certified as a lactation consultant. Jake still works at Oracle but has switched to a product management role.

In February, we welcomed a new pet into our home: a black cat named Lila. She and Daphne get along well, and all accounts she's well-adjusted and happy.

As for travel, we spent 2 weeks in the Yucatan as we attended a destination wedding of some of our best friends, then toured 6 UNESCO World Heritage Sites before spending a week in Belize with Kyla's family. The kids took their first trip to Disney Land, and we spent a weekend in the Colorado Rockies.

We would also like to announce that we are pursuing international adoption of a little girl from China. We've just started the application process with a reputable agency. Kaleb must be 3 years old before we can start getting matched, which will be this coming June — so we don't anticipate it happening until late 2019 or 2020. We'd appreciate your thoughts and prayers as we navigate the process.

State of the Family 2018

We're sad to report that we've lost our dog, Lily. She had a serious liver condition and survived years longer than was predicted. She was a scrapper, but it was time. She lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks from not eating and had become incontinent. Nonetheless we celebrate the joy she brought.

The rest of the family is happy and healthy. Jaedyn and Kaleb still get along well and are learning new things every day. Jaedyn is looking forward to resuming her dance and gymnastics lessons next year. Kaleb is astoundingly coordinated for his age; we think he is destined to be quite the athlete. He got tubes put in his ear due to frequent ear infections.

There are no changes in employment for Kyla and I to report. Kyla still works part-time at a pediatric clinic, and I still work on social media products at Oracle. I got certified as a project manager (PMP), and Oracle paid for most of it. Kyla got certified as a breastfeeding / lactation specialist, most of which was also paid by her employer. We both continue to play on our coed soccer team.

2017 was the year of travel. We'll have to cut back in 2018 with Kaleb getting old enough to have to cost money for airfare.

February

Missouri - St. Louis, Cahokia Mounds
Louisiana - New Orleans (Family Gras), Poverty Point

May

Georgia - Atlanta, Great Smoky Mountains
Kentucky - Mammoth Cave
Tennessee - Nashville, Chattanooga

July

Idaho - Boise

Oregon - Bend, Crater Lake

September

California - San Francisco, San Jose, Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, Mount Shasta, Redwood Forests

Nevada - Reno

December

Louisiana - New Orleans

Minnesota - Minneapolis, St. Paul, Rochester

In January of 2018, we'll also be in the Yucatan for a couple weeks. We'll start out in Cancun as we are in the wedding party of our good friends' destination wedding, then we'll tour UNESCO World Heritage Sites in the area before heading down to Guatemala to see Tikal National Park. From there we'll move on to Belize to meet up with Kyla's mom to celebrate her birthday. Kyla's mom will be taking care of the kids while we tour the Yucatan and bring them with her to Belize. Suffice it to say, we're a little anxious with all the coordination that will involve.

We wish you happiness and health in 2018!

State of the Family 2017

It's that time of year again ... the time of year I remember that I'm terrible at blogging. ;) But seriously, it's been a crazy year.

Kaleb is now 6 months old, happy and healthy. He does baby stuff.

Jaedyn is enjoying being a big sister. We love watching her learn and grow every day. She is involved in gymnastics, dance, soccer, and Mandarin classes. She attends a curriculum-based daycare on weekday afternoons.

Kyla still enjoys working weekday afternoons at a pediatric clinic and being home with the kids in the morning. She is on her way to becoming certified as a lactation consultant, which has been a goal of hers for a long time. I left my job a startup to be a software development manager for a social media web application at Oracle, a well-known software giant. I'm gaining valuable management experience while helping to solve new and challenging problems. This past year I also got more serious about my health and lost over 100 pounds. Let's hope I can keep the weight off this coming year!

Kaleb Emannouel: Born 6/16/2016

Kaleb Emmanouel Carlson was born at 3:57pm on June 16, 2016. We almost made it to 6-16-16 16:00. He was 8lbs 13oz, 20.25 inches long.

We did things a little differently this time around. We hired a doula who coached Kyla to a successful natural birth. We had a bit of a scare as his shoulder got stuck during delivery (shoulder dystocia), but we were fortunate to have great doctors that were able to safely deliver Kaleb. It all went waaaaay faster than Jaedyn's birth.

And now for the pictures!

Already a prima donna. He was happy to meet his big sister, though.

If you've been following along, you know that we take naming our children very seriously. While we didn't follow as rigid of a process this time around, we did adhere to the same rules -- well, mostly. Kaleb is another form of the Hebrew name Caleb, which means "courageous." Emmanouel is the Greek form of Emmanuel, and it means "God with us." So taken together we have something akin to Joshua 1:9:

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

State of the Family 2016

I'll just skip the part where I call attention to the fact that I haven't made a post since last State of the Family and move along ...

The big news is that Kyla is preggers (again!) and we will be blessed with an additional squirt in June of next year. We will be finding out the sex by the end of the year. We will update you with a name once we find out the sex and go through our arduous naming process.

We're amazed every day at how Jaedyn is growing. She learns new words every day and repeats just about everything we say. Ugh, time to finally clean up our language, I guess. She is doing very well at preschool and is looking forward to seeing her new baby brother or sister.

Lily is still alive. She's a scrappy little sucker. Daphne is still tuddling around, albeit about 10 pounds heavier from all the table scraps she gets from Jaedyn.

Kyla is working weekday afternoons at Austin Diagnostic Clinic. She's enjoying her time in the morning with Jaedyn before she kicks her to the curb at preschool around noon. This pregnancy has been harder on her than the first, leading many to believe that we're getting a boy. We'll see ...

I had an opportunity to go to China with Apple but in the end didn't feel like the deal worked for our family, so I turned it down. I left Apple to go back to MicroVentures as CTO.  I am enjoying getting some management experience in a small startup as I think it will offer me better opportunities in the future -- possibly opportunities to go back to China in a management capacity.

State of the Family 2015

Okay, so the whole 'blogging more' resolution totally didn't happen. I'm no better than the folks that start out January 1st running for exercise and quit within a week. Maybe worse. Oh well.

2014 was another year of transition for us. Kyla left Dell Children's Hospital mid-year and picked up part-time work at Austin Diagnostic Clinic on some weekend days. Kyla is able to stay home with Jaedyn during the week, and then either I or Kyla's mom takes care of her on weekend days that she's at work. So far it's working out great, but Kyla is looking to increase her hours at ADC (and it's looking like that's going to happen early next year). We've signed Jaedyn up for part-time daycare with a flexible start date, so we'll be prepared when that happens.

I have been enjoying being done with school and being able to focus on work. I left my full-time position after 1 year and took a position with Apple here in Austin. It's been a bit of an adjustment working for a huge corporation, but it's a great resume builder and valuable experience. I'm a contractor though and don't get the precious Apple employee discount, so nobody ask me if I can get them cheap Apple merchandise (believe me, I'm as bummed as you are).

Jaedyn is over one and a half. She's walking (running!) and learning new words. It's amazing how much she understands. I'm enjoying this age tremendously even though she can be a handful. I made the following video for Grandparents Day that sums things up pretty well.

And here she is at Halloween in the panda costume Kyla made for her:

State of the Family 2014

2013 was a crazy year for us.

Kyla finished her Master's of Science in Nursing degree just days after giving birth to our first child, Jaedyn Amara Carlson. She received her Pediatric Nurse Practitioner certification in the summer. She's still working at Dell Children's Hospital part-time and is starting another part-time gig as a PNP at another clinic here in Austin for a few days a month. We are grateful that she is in a position to spend most days with the baby. On days that she is away and I'm onsite with a client, we have a nanny part-time that is working out great.

I finally graduated with his Communication (Graphic) Design degree after 12 long years of [mostly part-time] school. About three weeks before Jaedyn was born and just finishing up my final semester, I tore my ACL playing soccer. Two days later, our house guest tore his ACL as well. So poor Kyla was nine months pregnant and having to wait hand and foot on two gimps. Luckily, I was able get to the point of walking by the time the baby was born. I had my ACL surgery a couple weeks after. This time my parents were staying with us to help take care of me during my recovery while Kyla took care of our brand new baby. If that weren't enough, I got gallstones just before Thanksgiving and had to have them removed. With school out of the way, I've had more time to focus on my business, which has kept me very busy.

Needless to say, we're looking forward to taking it a little easier in 2014. We can't wait to see Jaedyn grow and learn. She's almost crawling, so we'll be dealing with her being more mobile. Kyla hopes to get a half-time job that utilizes her new credentials so she can keep spending time with the baby. I am happily contracting full-time and look forward to seeing what new opportunities this year brings.

And yes, we are going to try to post more on this blog this year.